Hidden Agenda Afternoon

29Nov07

I spent kinda long to make this desktop wallpaper. It’s kinda nice when you turn on your PC and see all your precious photographs almost immediately. The more significant photographs take up 4 spaces! See if you can spot some in that small thumbnail above =)

Sean and Steven came over with the intention of making the class cd but ended up, playing DOTA for the whole afternoon. Tiring, really, but fun! Mom brought back pepper crab and chilli crab, woohoo! The smell still lingers on my hands, yucks.

Everyday, when I try a little bit lesser, I’m making more progress than usual. That is, until I write this.

Filed under: Games, Love, Random   |  Leave a Comment

A Year Ago Today

28Nov07

A year ago today, it was the cultural night. It still felt as though it happened not long ago, rather than… 1 year ago? Dance was the greatest thing I ever tried in Secondary school, which explains why I still love the dance club now. The one thing ever good about drama was my friends there. So when I look back now, things that were precious can really be a nothing more than just a memory in a blink of an eye. It’s not regrets I have having, but I just wished I could turn back time to relive those moments again. The hyper-active Damien is considered dead at the moment.

But on the bright side, the creative-side of me returned. I’m having more inspirations with Photoshop now, and have been working hard at it for the whole of Wednesday. The busy sign is not to block people away from my world, but the pop-up notifications are too annoying. I would accidentally click on them when I wanna click on the layers panel in photoshop, so its really frustrating when it happens too many times. If you wanna chat with me, I’m cool with it =)

I have completed one for Quaffs, one is halfway through, and some side-projects for improving my skills. Trying new styles can be kinda fun, and I hope to show my results soon =) The blog-creating book would have to be delayed because of other commitments. Sorry!

Filed under: Cultural Night, Dance, Portfolio, Quaffs   |  Leave a Comment

Busy Busy

27Nov07

This is the video recorded during our 4E1 BBQ. I took a whooping 2 hour just to upload this! Come’on (4E1) people, show some appreciation by leaving some comments =) For those who missed out the BBQ, this is your chance to view it. Cazua making his touching speech to Miss Lim and giving her the present we had for her. It’s a puzzle that I would say, made of Xueli’s sweat and hard work =)

I was kinda busy earlier with my work so I had the busy tag on for most of the time. After making this post, I’m going to sleep or I will drop unconscious infront of the computer! I will reply all tags when I wake up =)

But life never asks you what you want
It’s just gonna have its way
Sometimes it doesn’t give like it takes

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Above it All

26Nov07

Started this week’s with an outing with my 6G classmates. They were: Nancy, Yanling, Nigel, Cifton, Daris, Rachel, Amos, Daniel, Nicholas, Yew Choong, Jennifer, Victor and Carina (in the order they left from my sight). So I went out with 13 people today! Met up at McDonald first, and it was raining cats and dogs. After most of the people arrived, we went to West Bowl. I was the only guy who bowled while the rest of the guys went to play LAN gaming. Joined them shortly after 2 rounds of bowling, and played DOTA. The team I was in won thanks to my pro-teammates, haha.

Story of my lost-and-found IC
We had many long discussions where to head to, but we played pool in the end. So let me tell a very amusing story. 2 weeks ago, I lost my IC (identity card). I only realized it 3 days ago, and searched my whole damn house for it. I even went to make a trip down to the police station yesterday. And guess what, it was with the guys at the pool center! I was like, what the hell! Okay, so maybe the saying of “what is meant to be yours, will always come back to you” is true, but this is totally absurd. I seriously doubt my recent luck.

So we ate at Sakae. Guys had buffet while girls had ala carte. Look at how Amos handles the watermelons! 9 in a row, woah.

As usual, we went for a walk. Amos and Victor were fondling with statues along the way, and its like OMG! I’m not liable for any bad influence upon looking at the photos above.

The feeling of Christmas~ awwww.

We took photographs by this slope area, which is kinda fun.

Guys were more extreme since we were wearing sneakers, which allowed us to climb like monkeys.

And pose like idiots.

So here is the team that managed to survive til 11PM!

I still remember this place outside the Esplanade. Walking above water is actually pretty easy… as long there’s a platform underneath =)

Sometimes I do really understand that some words are meant to help. But I still feel that unless you’re the one involved, its very difficult to understand the feeling. I don’t really think I can relate what I feel to outsiders of this matter. Even I’m confused somehow. There are so many conflicting suggestions and advices from different people, and I don’t even know which to accept. I often say “go with what you feel”, but now I don’t even know the way I feel. I guess I can relate this metaphorically:

If she was a sugar, I’m salt, and my future is a pasta, it’s like I want to add sugar into the pasta even if it is against the odds. But at the same time, I’m afraid that too much of something experimental can back-fire. There is only one plate of pasta and I still still wondering if I should try adding the sugar or just drop it.

So that’s the metaphor. If you don’t get it, forget it.

Filed under: Friends Outing, Love, Sakae   |  Leave a Comment

Thanks for the Moments

25Nov07

I wrote these over a spread of 3 days, to speak of what 4E1 really means to me individually. Some may sound good, and some bad, but I wrote this out of honesty and memories. This is how you guys (and girls) made me felt.

Banu
To me, she is the kind of friend you can be very proud to have. Despite being better than me academically, she never looks down on people. The thing I won’t forget about her is her cheerful wide smile and the way she approaches accounts, as that is the subject we talk about the most.

Wan Ling
When I look at her, I ask myself why there are still so few exchanges of words even though we knew each other for 4 years. She is the girl-next-door type and the thing I will remember about her quietness and isolation, but in a friendly manner.

Lee Zhen
If she was not in school unifrm, I’d be scratching my head wondering if she was a boy or girl. I always admired her hairstyle, and her coolness. But to be frank, I didn’t quite like her initially. Maybe if we knew each other sooner, we could have been so much better.

Adeline
Despite what others might say, I am still very regretful about not clearing the misunderstanding we had when we were classmates initially. The bad impressions I had of her and such were all just a stubborn part of me. She can be very self-centered in the way she speaks but now I know those are the words true to herself and I respect her frankness. Her intimidation is always enough to protect the friends she treasure.

Peixuan
I don’t really know what to say. She never makes anything clear to me, and always leave me searching for answers. From sec-one til now, this has never changed. I could not find a way to speak to her in a sincere manner because she is always triggering the playful atmosphere. Even though she says that I’m better at most stuffs than her, I sincerely believe she can be so much better than me in life. Same class and same CCA, I guess she is the one who I can’t forget after all.

Ruiyi
The worst thing I ever did to her was tripping her from behind and giving her a hard fall. Looking back, I really hate myself for that. I always had fun affiliating her with Gabriel, since both of them are such good people. She is not those ladies you will die looking at, but her charm is her elegance.

Weifan
Very cute girl, and always talk about childish stuffs. I always tease about her height, and nothing else! Oh, maybe affiliating Gabriel with her is another. After all, I guess it is her friendliness that makes me feel like teasing her so much.

Wengling
She is another girl I come in contact with a lot, since we take the same route to and from school, same CCA and same class. Despite her difficulties, she listens to my words carefully and give honest and mature comments, which I find them very helpful. She can be a little naggy but that’s just her form of caring, I guess?

Yingxiu
A very fun and loving girl, that’s all I can say about her since we do not have much contact.

Attiqah
She may look quiet but she can express herself very well with the art of language. Everytime when we speak, the topics are generally quite smart in a sense (its like 2 wise men talking). Her ideas always fascinate me, from literature to common sense, she simply amazes.

Yeeling
She can really be a attitude-problem girl who can intimidate you in every single way. She is very stubborn and headstrong. But it was this year that made me realize there was another side to her. If she feels that you are safe enough, she will treat you right. This is her form of deterrence.

Weiling
If I believed in astrology, our relationship status should be inevitable. Because we have too much in common (the way we relate and the way we think), one always end up hurting the other. After all, she is a very easy-going and friendly person. If I could turn back time, I would take away all the bad things that happened between me and her since it was not worth it at all.

Carina
Ever since she changed her hairstyle, she really became very vocal. But the ‘auntie’-like behavior stays though. I would not say she has a attitude problem since the way she expresses it is really cute (or funny). She has really changed a lot, into a better person and a better friend I know.

Sara
Whenever I tried to talk to her, the exchange of words would only be a minute long. Maybe it is because of her maturity against my childishness that never got us anywhere.

Suzanne
We don’t really talk, but she seems like a nice girl. Not someone desperate for attention or lime-light, but the way she treats her friends makes me feel that she is a very deserving friend that nobody should take for granted.

Lilin
I can understand why others dislike her, or hate her for what she does. However, I really need to say that I’m perfectly okay with her. Sorry guys if you feel that I betrayed you or what because it is really unfair to her if I just judge her the way other sees her. She can be a little overboard with her arrogance but that is all to it. She is hardworking and I respect that much.

Yisin
Simply love this girl and her crazy thoughts. The thing we have in common is madness. They often say introverts have their own crazy world, then Yisin must be living in her own already. She is another girl who I don’t get into serious discussion with, and the english oral practice was the funniest one we ever had. I will always remember her obsession with Winnie-the-pooh. Oh, and she is quite pretty =)

Gloria
Another person I felt I could have as a very good friend if we knew each other sooner. Loves to act cute, and very fun to be with. I just like the way she sounds and reacts, always make me feel like laughing!

Xueli
From the start, I didn’t knew that she was in our class. Slowly, she became more vocal to the extent of being the voice of 4E1, showing us her enthusiasm and responsibility in everything she did. A very cool person, and I like the way she approaches stuffs. She simply rocks.

Sianglin
She is not the girlfriend you want to have, but rather a wife you would die to have. So guys, book your place =) I came to this conclusion because she is very unlike most girls I know, with her responsibility and caring attitude, along with her way of thoughts, she is very reliable in every way. I guess these were the traits that made me love working with her, because I can rely on her if I ever feel like falling. In another way, she is my brother =)

Taufik
So blur but so cute. So friendly and so pushable. He is very easy-going and approachable. I enjoyed tutoring him for accounts and a person I can depend on whenever I need help.

Kohein
Slowly he became someone I dislike a lot. The way I see it, he is very desperate for attention and turned relationships sour at its expense. Sometimes when you don’t try so hard, things could have been much better.

Zhongrong
I wonder how long it has been since I called him Zhongrong. Despite how close we are, we never talked about anything too personal. Perhaps it is because we have totally different ideals and we tried not to get in too deep with discussions too personal. But it may be the differences we have that gave us more to talk about. Really hope we get into same JC but he wants to go Poly, so I don’t really have much to complain if he wants it that way. Just all the best, dude.

Chikai
I’m so sorry that he had to endured all my crap last year since we sat beside each other. Through him, I got to look at the same stuffs from another perspective (well, he is much older) and despite being older than most of us, he can be a really fun guy with all his funny magic tricks.

Gabriel
If those Mr. Nice Guy in movies existed in real life, Gabriel has to be one. Even his attempts at playing pranks are too nice to be considered as prank. Very responsible and cute at times. Oh and did I forget to mention that his guy is very photogenic? =)

Yongchuan
We don’t actually talk much but I can always hear him. He’s much of a loudmouth and can be quite over-exaggerated with his actions. But he has his friendliness to justify them all.

Chiheng
I rarely talk to him too, but he seems to be a guy nice enough to meddle with.

Kamal
I always related animals like leopard and cheetah to him, since he has a amazing sprint and plays soccer very quickly. I hardly talk to him, but whenever we do, there is laughter. We sure have a weird communication!

Chongsiang
There are some times I really felt like whacking him, not because of anger or what but rather, pure irritation sometimes. Sure he is extremely friendly and sociable but his attempts to seek attention can be a pain in the neck. Just don’t try too hard yea?

Andy
This guy, how could I ever forget about him. He’s my academic rival, or a target I always aim at to improve myself. Just like Sianglin, he is one of the few damn responsible people and you can just tell from what he has achieved. Used to be a nerd, but ever since getting in contact with the juniors, he changed a lot.

Junjie
In the past he just love to talk. Now he love to play when people talk. Sometimes you can get very frustrated when he plays with your words in conversations, but always find it too funny to get angry at. Other than that, he is anywhere near as a perfect friend.

Weixiang
The only time we speak is when we have to make jokes. He is easily laughable and he always makes conversations entertaining with jokes.

Huijun
Because of his girlishness, I kinda really hate him for that. But as time passes, it wasn’t that bad? He always teases me, gawr.

Zingzai
Whenever I have crappy stuffs in my mind during morning assembly, he’s most likely to hear it first. Really funny guy, and very interesting to be with. I love his hair.

Randall
He’s also another who I share morning assembly stuffs with, like jokes about the principal and yada-yada. Very witty guy, and kinda cute. I will remember him if I come in contact with Sudoku =)

Kuanwei
I just feel that he’s very sarcastic, even though he can talk about matters which are serious well enough with me. Maybe we just can’t get along very well, but I’m still glad to know him.

Fongyong
The odd thing about him and me is that, he always approaches the right topics at the wrong time. Maybe that’s why our conversations never got very far. He is another witty one, looks like nerd but can be damn playful with his over-dramatic actions.

Sean
We just become very close somehow. Even though it might not look like it, his words are much stronger than mine whenever we discussed something. He’s the more matured one and he taught me many stuffs. Through dance, a lot of him has changed, from a insane-studying machine to a loverboy. How lovely eh?

Steven
Mr. Casanova was the nickname I had for him in my mind. He seems to have those undesirable chemistry with girls (and perversion) and because of that, I had a bad impression of him. But as time passes, I could find the strengths in him that balances with his bad side. His willingness to be there for others and stuffs, made him a better friend.

Augustine
He’s one of the wonders in my friends list. How can one grow up so quickly?! I always thought of his guy as a little wizard who does magic on everything, from studies to gaming, he is one of the under-rated students. He can easily be on the all-rounder list if he does his sports well =)

Yong An
Damn cute, damn funny. If you ever need a friend to talk to, he is the one. He can be funny, he can be serious, he can be anything you want him to. I think he’s just like Gabriel, one of the few mr. nice guys out there.

Vignesh
The little big guy =) I will never forget his love for kung-fu and the person he has been. Really hope to see him again when he comes back from Canada!

Ryan
If it is still not obvious enough, I will say it again: I hate him. And I believe this haven’t change since secondary 1. It’s not for his looks that I hate him, but the things he do just annoys. Even the nicknames I gave him to in secondary 2, they can still be applied now. Leech should be the ideal one. And I see this message as a declaration of war =)

Filed under: 4E1, Graduating Messages   |  Leave a Comment

Gloomy Sunday

25Nov07

If you have noticed, I usually dread Sundays. Tired, and heavy-hearted. Sundays just increases that load somehow. There is a 2E1-chalet thing Dominic has initiated so any ex-2e1 who is reading this, inform the others as I will be sending the details through email.

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free (so they say)
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah, it sure is hard to do
And I know they say if they don’t come back again
Then it’s meant to be (so they say)
But those words ain’t pulling me through
Cos I’m still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it’s just you and me going through the mill

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
and I know without a doubt
I turned it inside out
And if we walked away
would make more sense (only self defense)
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on a carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere?

- Ronan Keating’s Long Goodbye

Filed under: Friends Outing, Love   |  Leave a Comment

Bittersweet BBQ

24Nov07

When I left from the BBQ and go into my dad’s car, I cried. I dunno why but tears just started flowing out of my eyes. As I was telling Yong An how distanced we al may be after this gathering since everyone is no longer the YCSS student we used to know. Everyone has their own life now, finding jobs and getting busy. The paths we may take in the future may be very different as well. As such, there might be very few chances for us to stay the same anymore. And I feel very very very sad. So much that I wished there was no such thing as graduation. I may not find another person like Xueli, or Andy, or anyone in the class I know. It is when I realised I cannot be selfish that I started crying. I love these people a lot, and more than I ever know. Even as I am typing this, tears filled my eyes again. Really gonna miss all of them somehow.

Sometimes I just look back at last year and I wonder why I can no longer do it. Somehow I just don’t want to speak to her. But whenever she goes away, the same song just rings in my head. I don’t know how to put ‘em in words, so here is how the song goes.

So off to tell about my day. There were 2 major events today: Yuan Ching Open House and 4E1 BBQ. I spent most of my time in the dance studio while at the open house since most of my closer juniors are there. Some of them are going to China in about 6-7 hours, so bon voyage people and have a safe & pleasant trip. They put up a performance and I can say all of them surprised me. Abigail is no longer shy at dancing and really expresses herself well. Clara and Sharon really improved too and Titia, as graceful as ever. That’s my god-sister, Minhui & I.

The little councilors also found me in the dance room so took a photo with them. This is my naughty-little daughter (due to age-gap) Shronn. I really remembered having a hard time pronouncing her name but yea, she is still cute either ways.

Then this is Yihan, my great-granddaughter. I forgot the reason but she just calls me ah-gong.

I got a chance to take a look at the certificates and honours I earned for the school along with my peers. They are the Drama of History Competition and SYF Gold Award for International Dance.

Went down to Superbowl to play pool and arcade before heading to the BBQ. Not many turned up but I’m glad to see most of my classmates. So as always, there were questions about me and her. In the corner of my mind, things are getting complicated so I rather not talk about it. So when they were like asking wanna send her off and stuffs, I can’t find the reply I am looking for so I had to remained silent. Its the best and only thing I could do, eh?

I talked a lot to Miss Lim and Mr Liew, and reminisce about how the K&G thing came about. It was fun, and things were really interesting. So some simple counseling from Miss Lim, and lecture from Mr. Liew which were helpful. I’m so glad that they were my teachers, really glad. So we took a class photo (9-10 in total with different cameras) and some individual shots.

That’s Miss Lim (aka G)!

And Mr. Liew (aka K)!

The bittersweet moments, the restrained emotions, I really wished I could share them all. I hope I can love all of my friends now for all my life. Lotta love.

Note to BBQ Attendees:
If you have any photographs I have taken, go to here and click on 071124. 4E1 BBQ & Open House to view the photographs for today. Otherwise, WLM Sharing Folder =)

Tag Replies:

xuan: Nope =/

Steven and Andy: Yea, things get really sad when it all comes down to this.

Marie, Nas, XY, passerbyX33: Thank you very much! I really hope to achieve something great in this field =)

Yoksan: I saw you today! Bon voyage girl!

Jiacheng: I knew you would complain if I put them up, so I didnt =)

SnooSnoo: Maybe? Most probably yes.

dom: Shhh~ =/ Hehe, it was just one can.

hy: Now all are underdogs =)

HUIMIN!: You easy target ma… haiyo

Filed under: 4E1, School Days, School Events   |  Leave a Comment

Dance BBQ

23Nov07

Dance BBQ at Jurong Green Park. Waited for a while before Jiacheng and Titia showed up. Started fire, burn the charcoals, fan the fire. Then just wait for people to come (down from watching Television at Weina’s house).

I popped the last bottle of this non-alcoholic wine (which is practically soda).

I started the water bomb and I smashed Weina with one from the back. In return, I was the easy target for the rest of the people. And they didn’t say bring extra clothings! I felt so screwed.

So ate, talked and played at the playground. Swing was the main attraction =)

We played some dare games but things didn’t really got that daring, phew. We played catching as well, and just talked and admired the moon. Got my dad to pick me up because it really feels uncomfortable taking bus and MRT in wet clothings.

好眼泪，坏眼泪，我都曾为你流，感动和悲伤都是理由。

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Again I Am Doing This

22Nov07

I don’t know how the people around me came up with conclusions like that, but I always have to explain again. Maybe it is my unwillingness to open up my heart that keeps people wondering.

I don’t have a girlfriend. I dunno where this crap came from, that someone not from Yuanching is my girlfriend and yada-yada. Even at this point of time when I am making this post, I don’t have one.

2nd thing, when I don’t voice out my displeasure, it is not a “silence means consent” thing. I am still struggling with some things that are driving me crazy so if you don’t mind, don’t prob. Everybody needs their own time and space, so give me some room to breathe.

3rd, that converse bag is not what “gay bag” you idiots (referring to Zeyi, Alex and blah-blah~). Live with it =)

梁静茹 “会吸呼的痛” is my song of the day. Lovely.

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛 连沈默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

Read between the lines, damn it.

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Sleepless

22Nov07

Dominic and I haven’t even slept a wink for the entire night/morning. From the time we arrived at Ze Yi’s house until the time for sunrise, I was darn awake. Once it hits 8AM, I’m near unconsciousness.

Whole night just play FIFA 2008 on his PS3. And I really mean it. Even when Croatia against England match started, they were still playing since England was down by 2 goals. Dominic and I handled the cooking for the noodles, and we cooked a total of 9 packets! Aside from Ze Yi and some guy, the rest don’t mind the ratio of 2:5 amount of MSG to put. As always, kitchen was in a total mess.

Chenghao was first to fell asleep since he had work earlier. His sleeping position really looks like a Buddha. Halfway through eating potato chips, my voice went bogus. Just ask the guys, my voice was off-key and weird. Took me some time to regain my normal voice. I was the one who finished the one and only can of Tiger Beer, one gulp =) I was damned later on for doing so.

I love darts! This is one of my best shooting efforts for that night, not bad for a first-timer huh? So upon reaching home, I bathed and drop dead for 3 hours before making this post. Now I am awake and recharged!

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